Review: Splatterism: The Tragic Recollections of a Minotaur Assailant (An Upbuilding Edifying Discourse) by CS Hand

Evander, the last living minotaur, attempts to commit suicide by throwing himself into a hole. The attempt fails when he instead lands on two witches and unwittingly saves a sorcerer named Scammander. The two then set off on a series of bizarre adventures presumably trying to destroy the world.

As a concept this one promises so much, a tongue in cheek look at fantasy villains should be hilarious, unfortunately it just doesn't deliver. The biggest problem with this novella is that it doesn't make a lot of sense. I am more or less inferring that the two protagonists are trying to destroy the world from what I read in the blurb rather than what is actually in the story. What we have is a series of bizarre adventures with very little to tie each other together or any rhyme or reason in themselves. This extends to the world itself which is cobbled together from cliche fantasy races.

There are too many info dumps, in the form of little stories about some of the supporting characters, for a work of this size. This gives the text a cluttered feel.

The only positive is the occasional funny and clever quip between the characters. Sadly the byplay of the two protagonists is overdone and wears thin after awhile. The story is told firsthand from Evander's perspective, who is the most realized of the characters introduced though sadly he is a rather tiresome group of contradictions. He is suicidal and continually drones on about how miserable life is. Despite this aside from his one failed attempt he never tries suicide again and kills anyone who tries to put him out of his misery.

I desperately wanted to like this one, the concept promises so much, but unfortunately it is disorganized and non-nonsensical. 4/10.